Japan short on Sumo wrestlers

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TOKYO, JAPAN – Are you out of work and don’t quite qualify to be America’s Next Top Model? Well, maybe you can down a few more cheeseburgers and become a sumo wrestler.

Japan is in dire need of new trainees. Only 56 guys applied this year– the lowest number since 1958.

Why the drop? Sumo has seen some scandals recently: wrestlers fixing matches, testing positive for drugs, even beating a young recruit so bad that he died the next day… and a trainer was the one who told them to beat him up!

Sorry, women– you need not apply. Females aren’t allowed in professional sumo. In fact, women can’t even enter or touch the sumo ring. That made it awkward a few years ago for the female governor of Osaka, Fusae Ota, who was forced to award the Governor’s Prize from outside the circle.

But if living in dorms, waking up every morning at 5am to train, gorging on fish stew and beer, cutting your life expectancy by 10 years, and prancing around in a diaper sounds like your cup of tea– go for it!

If you become Yokozuna, the top-ranking sumo, you could earn upwards of $30,000 a month!

We’ll eat to that!!