Squeezing breasts can hinder cancer development

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CALIFORNIA – Berkeley researchers found that applying pressure to your ta-tas can hinder malignant breast cells from triggering cancer.

The scientists put malignant cells in silicone, then squeezed the silicone during the first stages of cell growth. Low-and-behold, over time, the cells started growing normally. As one researcher put it, the cells just needed a little help getting back on track.

Squeeze a boob, possibly save a life?! You don’t have to tell us twice! Just make sure you get permission first… Police say a man dressed up as Super Mario got a little handsy in times square.

Police accused 34-year old Damon torres, a street performer, of blocking a 58-year old woman and grabbing her thigh before walking away.

Maybe he thought she was princess peach?? He’s now facing “forcible touching” charges, and –get this — possession of marijuana.

Game over, Mario!