Burglar breaks into Marine’s house, quickly regrets it
SPOKANE VALLEY, WA – Do you know why there are so many movies about dumb criminals? They’re hilarious, that’s why! After hearing about the heist one crook in Washington tried to pull off, we’re putting together a screenplay and calling up Spielberg, because this is gold.
Our movie pitch, based on a true story obviously, will start out in the small town of Spokane Valley, WA. Our main character, Corporal Alex Pohle, has just returned from a seven month tour of duty in Afghanistan.
Pohle and his happy wife return from a quick shopping trip to find the front door of their home has been kicked in. The red marine flag hanging by the kicked-in door, serves as a clear indication that a truly bone-headed burglar has hit this house up. Pohle enters, finds the guy hiding in the bathroom with a bag full of jewelry and hunting gear locked and loaded. This is when Pohle’s training kicks in and we start the intense fight scene.
Phole gets the guy subdued, and holds the suspect on the ground until the cops show up. Of course, there’s a little ad-libbing between the two men in order to humanize the moron who broke into an American hero’s house.
In a twist that will leave the audience reeling, we end the whole thing by revealing that the crook is a blind pastor who thought he was walking into his own house.
Naw, we’ll give the people what they want! The guy goes to jail and faces charges of residential burglary! Hey Spielberg…call us!