Michigan spends taxpayer money to determine Detroit is broke

DETROIT, MI – It was a ‘no duh’ day in Detroit as Michigan’s state treasurer Andy Dillon announced some dismal news for the motor city.

“The findings were unanimous by the six member review team. And, in a sense, what it said is we believe there is a finical emergency in the city. And, that there’s no plan in place to correct the situation.”

Hey, The Situation is way beyond correcting. Oh, he wasn’t talking about the Jersey Shore’s Situation.

Detroit’s situation is its own train wreck. The state of Michigan actually spent good money to find out that Detroit’s long-term liabilities come to more than $14 billion.

Right now the city’s budget is $327 million in the hole, with no hope of getting out.

That’s not quite true. Rodney Lockwood wants to give Detroit a billion bucks for Belle Isle, the 982-acre island that sits in the middle of the Detroit River. Lockwood and a group of investors want to turn the island into a utopia.

More than a utopia, even. They want to turn it into a city-state with its own monetary and tax system, a haven for people from all over the world. Or at least around 35,000because that’s all the island could support without becoming another Detroit.

The people who run Detroit don’t seem interested in this idea of a game-changer, but they might be interested in a ‘name changer.’

The guys at Sugardaddies.com struck out with Sugar Land, but maybe they could have better luck getting Detroit to change its name for a few million bucks. After all, Detroit’s done a whole lot more for a whole lot less.

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