Porn industry gives man a hand rebuilding stolen porn collection

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MUSKEGON, MI – We’ve all heard of grand theft auto, but this might be the first reported case of grand theft porno! A Michigan man is mourning the loss of his $7,500 porn collection. The X-rated films fleeced right from his own home, with hundreds of dirty DVD’s and three TV’s taken.

43-year-old Earlie Johnson is a self-proclaimed working stiff who has collected 40 years’ worth of sex scenes.

Touting his porn was more than just a horny hobby; Johnson claims his collection also kept him faithful.

“It keep my relationship fresh and tight,’ says Johnson. ‘And I learned stuff that I can use on her”

But before you think there’s no happy ending to this story, things started looking up for Johnson.

The touching story moved the porn companies so much, that the industry is banding together to help out the super fan. Johnson is now receiving large packages of brand spanking new porn, from the film maker’s themselves!

And Johnson vows never to be down again as he plans to upgrade his lost collection to Blu-ray, “What I do now… collect over.”

The porn industry is giving this guy a hand, but it sounds like he knows how to hold his own.