Penis theft on rise in small African villages

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TIRINGOULA, AFRICA – There’s a thief on the loose in Africa. And this one’s a doosie. According to Louisa Lombard, a postdoctoral fellow in geography at the University of California, Berkeley, men in the tiny African village of Tiringoula have reported having their penises stolen.

It’s not what you think.

According Lombard, while on a trip to the village, two men say their units were “shrunken” by a sorcerer traveling through the village and using witchcraft to steal the “girth” from their members then selling them to men of lesser stature.

As crazy as it seems, stories of penis theft date back as far as the 15th century. Early books warning of the dangers of witchcraft tell of sorcerers who take away male members and keep them in bird`s nests.

Lombard authored a report on the subject and given her postdoctoral studies at Berkeley, it’s likely she wasn’t just making up what she heard.

Of course, knowing men, it could be just an excuse.