Give Him a Taste of His Own Medicine with a Semen Cocktail

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

Alright ladies, when it comes to certain aspects of hooking up with your man, they don’t call it a “Job” for nothing. I mean there’s a lot that we’re working with…gag reflex, breathing right, and oh yes what to do with that. You know…THAT.

No matter what your preference is there’s nothing worse than “Funky Spunk”. You fellas don’t always know what we’re working with. So in an effort to give men a “taste” of their own medicine Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer, the prophet of man juice mixology has come out with Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook. In a nutshell it teaches you how to create beverages for their lover using ingredients like fresh mint leaf, lemon zest, and a dash of semen.

“If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen — I mean, it’s your semen,” he told SF Weekly. “Then I started thinking about it. People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.”

Hmm…maybe I should go vegan.

Now you don’t want to get roofied with a disease. Photenhauer recommends only crafting cocktails with trusted sperm. No one wants tainted baby batter.

I’ll stick with Vodka. Semen cocktails…taking happy hour a little too far.

And that’s today’s helping of the Online Dish with Maggie.