Vandals splash green paint on Lincoln Memorial

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

WASHINGTON, DC – When Abe Lincoln isn’t sitting around like a bump on a log, or saving the nation by slaying vampires, he’s turning green.

Honest.

Apparently some reprobates vandalized the Lincoln Memorial in Washington by splashing Abe’s appendages with green paint, which is not an easy feat.

Of course, this weekend is Mick Jagger’s seventieth birthday, and maybe the vandals wanted to help Abe celebrate it, but couldn’t paint him black.

Just saying.