American unhappy about Snowden’s Russian asylum

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Russia`s Vladimir Putin is not only a Super Bowl ring thief, but it looks like he`s also good at giving snow jobs.

Snow jobs! We said Snow jobs. Okay?

The White House is really upset because Putin didn`t call before giving National Security Agency thief Eddie ‘The Snowman’ Snowden temporary asylum. That`s right, Putin stole our thief.

The White House doesn`t know where he is now. The snowman could be anywhere.

No word if this will affect next month`s G-20 summit in St. Petersburg, Russia. President Obama is supposed to meet with Putin beforehand.

Snowden`s attorney says Eddie may get his own place and find a job.

He may have an offer from Pavel Durov, founder of Russia`s equivalent of Facebook. Durov apparently offered Snowden a job as a computer specialist on his security team.’

There`s also word that Snowden`s pole dancing girlfriend Lindsey Mills may fly to Moscow and join her fugitive boyfriend who left her behind in Hawaii.

No word on what she`ll do in Moscow, but a pole`s a pole, no matter where you are.