CLUTE, TX – Tired of boring cable channels? YouTube got you down? Well, look no further than your favorite, local libertarian presidential candidate for the answers to your boob-tube blues. It’s the Ron Paul Channel! Ron Paul all day, all night!
Yep. Texas’ favorite son is taking technology by the bull-strap and launching his own internet TV channel. The 77-year-old has done plenty of TV interviews and even been seen in a feature film, so he has plenty of experience on screen. And the good news is you can have access to Ron Paul all day every day for the low, low price of only $9.95 a month!
“Why would you pay ten-dollars a month?” says Houstonian Olivia Jones.
Alex Chavez agrees, saying, “Why we going to pay for something when we already get it for free?”
Oh yeah, as if your cable bill wasn’t high enough already, the Texas libertarian is throwing his cards out and hoping his followers will pay for the privilege of having access to his channel.
“It’s too much,’ Houstonian Perla Rios told us. ‘It should just be like, $2.99 or something since it’s just one show.”
But wait! For your low, low payment, you’ll get unlimited access to engaging original programming including: rambling diatribe, guest interviews, and completely uncensored commentary!
One word sums it up for Alex Chavez. ‘No.’
Hmm… Wonder how long before the cable providers pick it up?