Which State Has the Biggest Penises Based on Condom Sales?

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Go Big or Go Home! Which State is the biggest? No, I’m not talking about miles, I’m talking about penis size. Yes, that’s right.

Condomania.com, which claims to be America’s first online condom store, there is such a thing, has decided to conduct its own very important study. And might I add this is highly scientific!

According to a press release, the website compiled condom sales data by state to find out which states bought a higher-than-average amount of larger-sized condoms.

The result? A list of all 50 states, “ordered by penis size”.

Topping the list, might shock you. North Dakota?! Things are going down in Fargo. Here’s the complete ranking:

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi

I have to say, living in Texas, I’m sorely disappointed. 41st?! I thought everything was supposed to be bigger in Texas. And what happened to Georgia? Are there no penises in that state or are people just not strapping one on? Condomania hasn’t confirmed why they didn’t make the cut (oops sorry bad choice in words).

Fellas don’t be “down” if your state falls short. First, these men might not be measuring right or have a lack of self-awareness. And remember it’s not the size of the tide, it’s the motion of the ocean. In the meantime, I’ll be booking a trip to North Dakota. And don’t worry I’ll pack my measuring tape. Just say’n.

And that’s today’s helping of The Online Dish with Maggie.