NSA using online video games to spy

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HOUSTON, TX – It’s no secret the NSA has been spying on us. It’s the how and why that’s turning heads. Ever since Edward “the Snowman” Snowden blew his whistle back in May, we’ve been learning more and more about how Uncle Sam has been playing big brother. And the latest is a doozie.

According to the most recent documents to hit the fan, the National Security Agency and its British counterpart have been using online video games to keep tabs on everyone from you and me, to terrorists hiding around the world.

“You know, whatever helps deter terrorism, honestly,” Houstonian Lawrence Mireles said when we asked him about the latest NSA documents. “I know that recently there have been stories of people making threats on the internet to other people.”

NSA documents show that as far back as 2008, security agents posed as online gamers playing games like ‘World of Warcraft’ and ‘Second Life’ in an attempt to extract data from terrorists on the off-chance they might be using the games as a communications network. And even though no evidence of terrorists being caught online have surfaced, still, plenty of folks are surprisingly supportive of the tactic.

“I think of all possibilities; I have an open mind,” Abigail Simien explained when we asked her thoughts on the matter. “I see my son – he’s gaming all day long, he does it a lot, he does it with people in other countries.”

The NSA might not be the only one keeping an eye on your private stuff. A video posted to YouTube by Fast-Company Designs, Mark Wilson, who tested the new X-Box One, seems to show the device’s infrared camera picking up what appears to be his penis. Yep. Through layers of fabric the super-sensitive imaging camera displays an outline of what could be Mark Wilson’s genitals.

No word from Microsoft yet as to whether that is what we think it is, but if you plan on getting online these days, beware. There’s no telling who’s watching, or what they’re seeing.