Crimean parliament threatens to secede from Ukraine, join Russia

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SIMFEROPOL, UKRAINE – As the turmoil in Ukraine continues, the country is beginning to fall apart — literally. The Crimean parliament is now threatening to secede from Ukraine and join Russia.

Crimea has been a part of Ukraine since the fall of the Soviet Union, but a majority of its citizens are ethnically Russian.

A referendum on joining Russia is planned for March 16. Unsurprisingly, the Ukrainian government is less than thrilled.

“This is [an] illegitimate decision,” Ukrainian interim prime minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk said. “This so-called referendum has no legal grounds at all.”

And our own President Obama has harsh words for Crimean separatists.

“The proposed referendum on the future of Crimea would violate the Ukrainian constitution, and violate international law,” he said.

While Crimea considers defecting to Russia, Ukraine’s interim prime minister is meeting with leaders of the European Union. So basically, don’t expect Ukraine’s east-west tug of war to end anytime soon.

Meanwhile, an American anchor working for Russia’s state-owned TV station staged her own one-woman protest by resigning on camera.

“R.T. is not about the truth,” she declared on-air. “It’s about promoting a Putinist agenda, and I can tell you firsthand, it’s also about bashing America.”

One might question why she felt okay working for Putin before this issue. Apparently institutionalized homophobia and general America-bashing were cool but getting involved in Ukraine’s civil unrest? Well that’s just one step too far. But hey, better late than never!

So what will happen next in this eastern European drama? There’s only one prediction we’re willing to make: expect the unexpected.