Scotland votes to keep United Kingdom united

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GLASGOW, Scotland – Voters in Scotland have said “nae” to the idea of disuniting the United Kingdom.

“A turnout of 86 percent is one of the highest in the democratic world of any election in any referendum in history,” said Alex Salmond, First Minister of Scotland when the vote tally became official. “This has been a triumph of for the democratic process and the participation in politics.”

The vote prevented huge economic, political, and military problems, not only for a new Scotland, but for the rest of Great Britain and Europe.

The vote also means British prime minister David Cameron will have to make good on his promise of providing more autonomy to Scotland. “We now have a chance, a great opportunity to check the way the British people are governed and change it for the better.”

Here in Texas, Governor Rick Perry has floated the idea of secession on several occasions. But what would Texans do if they didn’t have Uncle Sam to complain about.