Texas town moves Halloween because of football

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VAN, Texas – Folks have been getting down, and getting out, on Halloween since, well, since nearly forever.

Lately, lots of lights and cute kids have replaced the religious aspects of All Hallows Eve.

In Van, which is near Tyler, another religion will displace Halloween this year.

The Van Vandals are undefeated on Friday nights this season, so the mayor decided to move Halloween to Saturday, November 1.

“I came in and talked to the city manager and I made the decision to change it to the Saturday night due to the fact they'll be a tremendous amount of people out of town Friday night,” explained Van mayor Dean Stone.

Come on. You knew it was going to happen. And in Dallas, no less.

Some guy has decorated his house to look like an Ebola hazmat scene, complete with caution tape and waste containers.

What? Too soon?

Well, then it’s probably too soon for the knucklehead who thought it would be big laughs to dress up like Ray Rice dragging his fiancé/wife around. Well, a blow-up version of her anyway.

But if you really want to make an impression, try The Million Dollar Morphsuit. It drips with about 70,000 diamonds.

The trick is how to pay for this treat that comes in at a cool $1.6 million.

But you’re still expected to pay for candy.