MERRIMACK, NH -- Pennsylvania police need your help. Just days ago, the most popular Marmota Monax, known by his street name, Punxsutawney Phil, lied to a nation of innocent bystanders.
Just is the case with humans, when an animal lies to the long arm of the law, there's retaliation. So, the Merrimack Police Department put out a warrant for the rodent, saying in a Facebook post, "He told several people that winter would last 6 more weeks, however he failed to disclose that it would consist of mountains of snow!"
We already knew we couldn't trust meteorologists and their web of lies, but when the animal kingdom deserts its commitment to the climate something must be done!