Researchers: monkeys with the smallest testicles make the loudest noise

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CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND – You’ve probably heard of short-man syndrome.

That’s where short, insecure, sometimes angry guys make up for their short-comings by conquering the world around them. Think Napoleon.

Then there’s North Korea’s diminutive despot Li’l Kim Jong Un who symbolically made up for his shortness by purchasing what was, at one time, the world’s largest jetliner.

And what about the “loud guy” syndrome?

If there isn’t one, maybe there should be.

You know, like the guy at the office who makes other people miserable by yelling or being an ugly or violent bully.

Now, researchers in England think the size of certain body parts may be responsible for such behavior.

The howler monkeys are the loudest land animals on earth.

They sit around for most the day. But researchers weren’t looking at howler activity.

They were more interested in their testicles.

And they discovered that the ones with the biggest throats, the louder howlers, had the smallest testicles.

The Cambridge University researchers determined the male howler uses his voice to attract females and scare off competing males.

Those with the largest howl, and the smallest testicles, live in a small group with a few females sharing one male.

The other howlers with smaller throats live in larger groups where the females sleep around.

They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

The same might be said for humans and monkeys, especially the loud, howling kind.

That would explain a lot of things, now, wouldn’t it?