Indianapolis, IN - And now for another episode of "Don and Ted's Excellent Adventure!"
After Donald Trump mathematically eliminated Ted Cruz from winning the Republican nomination outright on Tuesday, the Texas Senator dropped a bombshell on everyone by announcing he has selected former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina as his running mate.
Uh, for the contest he was basically just eliminated from winning. But who cares about details?
"I have come to the conclusion that if I am nominated to be President of the United States," Cruz announced. "I will be on the ticket with my vice-presidential nominee, Carly Fiorina "
"It is time," Fiorina demanded. "We must take our Country back!"
Meanwhile, back in DC, the only thing taken back was "The Donald," since he chose to celebrate his latest victory at the polls by giving a foreign policy speech at the Mayflower.
Well, the Mayflower Hotel, that is.
"America First will be the major and overriding theme of my administration," Trump declared.
Critics on Twitter were pretty hard on "The Donald" after the speech, with former Republican rival Lindsey Graham even saying "Ronald Reagan must be rolling over in his grave."
So later in the day, Trump added some firepower of his own to his campaign with an Indiana endorsement.
"This is the worst kept surprise in the history of politics," Trump joked. "Bobby Knight, ladies and gentleman...the great Bobby Knight!"
Yeah, legendary former Hoosiers coach Bobby Knight came out to stump for Trump.
So what does Cruz think of Trump's latest moves?
"This country isn't a reality show," Cruz insisted.
That's true, Senator, but thanks to you and the Trumpster, this campaign season is one "excellent" adventure!