HOUSTON — Tech is now making its way into our bedrooms.
Standard Innovation Corporation — a.k.a the company with the most original name — released a new adult product recently called the We Vibe 4 Plus.
This spicy device, which looks a lot like a futuristic weapon, connects to your smartphone with Bluetooth and allows you to change up your own tempo. Or if you prefer, your partner can control the motion of your ocean from anywhere in the world.
This new technology is called, get ready for it: Teledildonics
“Whatever works to keep the relationship steady, you gotta use robodildonic (sic) then use robodildonics,” Houston resident Don Toniver said.
Houstonian Jocory Holmes slightly disagrees.
"We're too far in the future," Holmes said. "That's not good. It can’t be safe.," Holmes said.
But here's where things get titillating. Last week at a hacker convention, two computer crusaders cracked standard innovation's database and found out that they were secretly gathering info on its users for research.
The company was collecting data every time users were getting they're ya-ya out and learning about their preferences, how long it takes for them to climax — you get the idea.
“What would they use (the data) for? Harm you? But it is kind of unsettling, uncomfortable, that people are watching what you do," one Houstonian said.
And while some find this alarming, there are tons of products like the We Vibe shooting up all over the place.
At some point, we'll have to ask ourselves: what's more important, our privacy or our private parts?