No more scattering ashes! Catholic church changes creamation rules

VATICAN CITY —  Listen up Catholics, the Vatican is making some changes.

Just in time for Halloween and All Souls Day — when Catholics are supposed to pray for and remember the dead — comes a rule change on cremation.

When it comes to disposing of a body, the folks at the Vatican prefer burial. They’ve called cremation a “brutal destruction of the body.”  Despite those feelings, they OK’ed the flaming ritual more than 50 years ago.

Now, Pope Francis is telling the flock, if ya’ wanna be cremated, you can’t have your ashes scattered, divided, kept at home, or in jewelry. Unfortunately, those are the reasons why many folks wanna be cremated.

The new guidelines call for ashes to be stored in a sacred place like a church or a cemetery.

"In the Catholic tradition we are a unique creation of God. And even though the body disappears, which is a very important part of us, we still remain ourselves," Father Dempsey Rosales Acosta, a theology professor at the University of St. Thomas, explained.

So if you want to feel close to your loved one, you’ll have to hang out at church.

Hmmm, maybe this is the Vatican’s way of getting the masses back to mass?