Swiss cows in heat sext their farmers

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ZURICH, SWITERLAND – All of our technical achievements have led us to this udder’ly ridiculous moment: Swiss Farmers are beefing-up the “booty call” buy having their cows sext them when they’re in the mood.

It seems that making massive amounts of milk can be stressful for cows. So stressful, heifers aren’t in heat as often as they used to. Because of their lack of interest, the farmers had a hard time figuring out when their cows should get frisky, so they can mate them and increase their heard.

The answer was simple: shove a transmitter up the cow’s vagina, which then sends a text message alerting the farmer that Bessy is ready to get busy. The texts are about 90% accurate. Now the farmers can correctly judge when their cows are ready to make a love connection.