China arrests 500 doomsday cult members

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BEIJING, CHINA – As the Maya calendar marches slowly toward the end of time on December 21, several hundred people in China will observe the occasion behind bars.

And we’re not talking the kind of bars where you can get liquored up and Shanghaied.

No, the Chinese government has rounded up about 500 members of Eastern Lightning, a pseudo-Christian cult that teaches Jesus has returned and is living as a woman in China.

We assume she would be a Chinese woman, but that’s not part of this story.

Members of the group have been going around China saying the world is ending Friday and that half the good people and all of the evil people will die.

But what really bothers the Chinese government is that the cult members are calling on the Chinese people to go to war against the Communist Party, which they call the Big Red Dragon.

Of course, if the world ends, it’s not really going to matter. But something tells us the Chinese government isn’t taking any chances.

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