Thanks to bikini waxing, crabs are now endangered

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BRAZIL – Sadly, every year we hear of newer creatures making the endangered species list. The good news? We doubt anybody’s going to miss these guys: Crabs! No, not the ones that live under the sea; the one’s that live under your pants!

Pubic lice have been gnawing at our groins since the caveman days. But today, the louse is losing its population at an alarming rate. The reason for the massive die-off? Well, we have to look south for an answer. Far south… to Brazil!

Doctors worldwide are crediting the Brazilian wax for killing off the crotch crabs by clearing their environment bare. Having no hair “down under” means the numbers of Australian pubic lice cases fell 80% in the past decade.

And here in the US, studies show 80% of all college students like to keep things trim or completely bare down there. But no matter what sex you are or what age, people are going through great lengths to get rid of body hair, and that’s an eviction notice for the nasty little crabs.

So, thanks to waxing for the waning of pubic lice. And thanks to Brazil for fixing this problem below the equator. Sting might have a problem with their Amazon deforestation, but maybe something’s are better barren.