Texas Senator Ted Cruz renounces Canadian citizenship

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HOUSTON, TX – Ted Cruz is all American, no longer a Canadian!

That’s right. Texas senator Ted Cruz has made it oh-fishal.

As of now, it’s ‘No Canada.’

This is Cruz’s response to a Dallas Morning News story that pointed out his dual citizenship.

He was born in Canada to (guess who) an American woman.

The paper speculated that, at any time, Cruz could get a Canadian passport or try to get elected to parliament.

Cruz released a statement Monday that said he has nothing against Canada, but he believes he should be only an American.

Cruz came to Houston for breakfast with the Houston Reality Coalition at the Houstonian Hotel, and then dropped by the Texas Conservative Coalition Policy Summit at the Marriott at the Texas medical Center.

Cruz has not said he’s running for president, but if the media think you might, they start digging up old school mates.

Remember when the Washington Post found someone Mitt Romney bullied in prep school?

Well, now The Daily Beast has found some guys that went to Princeton with Cruz. They say he was a lot like he is today: intelligent, deeply polarizing, and arrogant.

Oh, yeah, and sometimes he wore a paisley bathrobe.

So, who hasn’t done some crazy stuff back in the day?