Britney Spears’ music used to fight Somali pirates

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COAST OF SOMALIA – Welcome back to the first, and most likely last, episode of what’s the best way to deter Somali pirates.

We’ve heard reasonable answers like fire hoses around the ship and cannon fire, but now here in the bonus round — what’s the best way to deter Somali pirates?

It’s Britney witch!

That’s right. According to a story in Time Magazine pirates reportedly can’t stand western culture or music; so aiming speakers solely at pirate ships and jamming Britney Spears seems to be the perfect deterrent.

Security teams found they rarely need to fire guns as pirates get a blast of Brittney and they blast out of there fast. Even works better than armed security guards on board ships.

Crazy to think desperate pirates board merchant ships with guns a blazing, ready to kidnap for multi-million dollars ransoms; but they can’t overcome this girl?!

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