China unveils nuclear subs capable of attacking major US cities

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BEIJING, CHINA – Late night TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel is in Dutch with the Chinese over this skit where he asks some kids how the US should pay back the debt we owes China, and one kids says to kill them. But it may be the Chinese who have the last laugh.

The Chinese government is letting Uncle Sam and the rest of the world know for the first time that their nuclear subs are ready, willing and able to strike U.S. cities as a way to balance Uncle Sam’s nuclear power in the pacific.

China says it has at least four nuclear subs that can easily hit Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego.

Beijing also published a map in its official news outlets, showing what would happen after those attacks, and how the radiation would spread all the way to Chicago.

Memo to Kimmel: maybe we don’t need a remake of ‘Enter the Dragon’ right now.