US produces more oil than it imports

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HOUSTON, TX – Hey, you! Next time you fill up the tank, do it proudly: last month for the first time in nearly two decades, the United States produced more crude oil than it imported.

“The technologies that’ve made this possible are the combination of horizontal drilling and massive hydraulic fracturing,” explained Bob Tippee, editor of Oil and Gas Journal.

Yes! Energy independence! Oh, wait: too soon?

“We’re producing more crude oil than we’re importing now; but we need almost 19 million barrels a day of oil products, and we’re producing little less than 8 million barrels of crude oil.”

The White House rushed to announce this milestone and, of course, claimed some credit for it: President Obama’s near-doubling of fuel-efficiency standards for new cars and trucks – they say – is what has helped lower both energy use and carbon pollution.

“The Government can take credit for having provided research that helped develop these technologies. Beyond that, it’s an industry achievement.”

Gas prices are going down, we’re importing less oil — somebody’s wallet is getting lucky!

“I feel like it’s a good thing for my wallet,” said customer Claudia Smith. “But at this point in time I’m not sure how long it’s gonna last.”

So, let’s hope this trend continues. In the meantime, if they could just fix that glitchy website and stop spying on everybody… this would be wonderland.