Copies of ’50 Shades of Grey’ test positive for herpes, cocaine

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ANTWERP, BELGIUM – With Kindles and iPads putting books in your hand at the touch of a button, most people probably don’t visit their local library very much anymore, which may not be such a bad thing.

Some professors at the Catholic University of Leuven over in Belgium decided to test their toxicology screenings on the top 10 most borrowed books from the Antwerp Library, and what they found was downright disgusting.

All 10 of the books tested had traces of cocaine. Not enough to get you high, but enough that you could possibly fail a drug test after handling one.

The dirtiest book they found was 50 Shades of Grey, and not just because of the content.

The mainstream erotic novel tested positive for, get this, traces of the herpes virus!

The professors said don’t worry; the concentration of the virus was so small that you wouldn’t actually contract the disease by touching the book, but still.

Sounds like that’s one kind of bookworm you don’t want to find hanging out at the library.