Ancient remains found at Miami construction site

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MIAMI, FL – How much is our history worth? That’s the billion-dollar question in Miami.

Surveyors for a company called MDM Developing were in the process of constructing a billion-dollar entertainment complex downtown when workers uncovered what appears to be the remains of a 500-year-old Native-American civilization. Archaeologists say it could be one of the most significant finds in American history and are asking that developers do what they can to preserve it.

“This lot is the last vacant lot in Miami and it has been for about 80 years,” says archaeologist Jeff Ransom. “We’d like to see if the developer can, you know, redesign their building to include the site.”

But developers say: fat chance.

“You can’t just redesign the site, we’re too far past that,” argues MDM attorney Gene Stearns. “The site has been examined, the shards of an ancient civilization have been preserved. We now know what was there, and the important part of what was there is going to be moved so people can see it.”

But that answer has Native Americans up in arms.

“If they want to preserve it, they could do a lot of things, but not cut it out,” Catherine Hummingbird-Ramirez proclaims. “Maybe they could build around it. But to cut it out, it’s destroying it.”

For now the plan is to dig out what they can and get back to work. After-all, who needs history? We’ve got movie theaters and dance halls to build, right?