Texas house candidate wants to legalize road kill

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

CENTER POINT, TX – Tink Nathan wants your vote. He’s a big game hunter from Center Point, TX, northwest of San Antonio, where he’s running for State Rep in District 53. Tink is your typical politician. He’s pro family, pro education and pro road kill.

Yeehaw! Fire up the grill! It’s time for roasted raccoon, sauteéd squirrel and possum pot pie. But before you hit the road to hit dinner… um, get dinner… you should know collecting and eating road kill in the Great State of Texas is a misdemeanor.

Tink wants to change that and says “road kill cuisine” is an untapped food source. His logic: one deer carcass is about 80 lbs. of edible meat, multiply that by the 1500 Bambies that were road kill last year, and you’ve got the fixins’ for one rootin’-tootin’ shin dig.

Now, just imagine if you throw in all the other animals exterminated on the interstate.

So then next time you plunk a pig or smash a snake, think of Tink.