Man allows hyena to eat his genitals to become rich

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CHIPATA, ZAMBIA – It was supposed to be a rags to riches story. A man in Zambia was given some bad advice for getting rich quick, but the broke guy ended up getting his genitals eaten by a hyena instead. Wow, the things some people do for money!

The ‘Times of Zambia’ reports the young man who lost his manhood is Chamangeni Zulu. In hopes of finding wealth, he told the paper, “I met some business persons who told me that the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body.”

Now, it’s important to note here that when Mr. Zulu says “business persons” he’s really saying “witch doctors”. Big difference here in the States, but seemingly used interchangeably in that part of Africa. Who knew? Anyway, these witch doctors promptly prescribed their sound advice to this poor guy, that he should strip down butt naked and wonder off into the bush. Given his marching orders, and with money on his mind, naked Mr. Zulu walked off to find wealth. He found a hungry hyena instead.

The desert dog munched off three of Zulu’s toes as an appetizer before moving up to the main course, his crotch. After the meal, the hyena up and left leaving poor Zulu not only still penny-less but penis-less as well. The man was taken to an area hospital, where he’s in stable condition.

So to recap, witch doctors told a man how to get rich quick, but he got shafted instead. When will people learn that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Well, except for the hyena. They always seem to get the last laugh, don’t they?