El Paso man to spend next 18 months in jail for whizzing on the Alamo

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

SAN ANTONIO, TX – You know the rules: You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don’t take a whizz on the Alamo.

Daniel Athens, from the west Texas town of El Paso, will spend the next 18 months in a San Antonio hoosegow after admitting he whizzed on the Alamo in April of 2012.

And he’ll spend every day in jail, with no time off for good behavior. Plus, he’ll have to pay four grand to fix the limestone wall fix he peed on it. Seems human urine and limestone don’t mix.

San Antonio barred rocker Ozzy Osbourne for ten years after he relieved himself at the Alamo, not on the Alamo.

Back in the 80’s, Ozzy did the deed at the cenotaph, that’s the memorial to the heroes of the Alamo, in the Plaza, but across the street from the Alamo.

Ozzy finally apologized and donated ten grand to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.

Something tells us it’s gonna be a long 18 months for Mr. Athens.

Notice: you are using an outdated browser. Microsoft does not recommend using IE as your default browser. Some features on this website, like video and images, might not work properly. For the best experience, please upgrade your browser.