Adam Silver apologizes for Sterling’s comments about Magic Johnson

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Just when you thought the world was safe, it comes without warning: “The Curse of Tarnished Sterling — Attack on the Big Magic Johnson.”

Only a lost soul, half man, half ghost, knows the secret of the Donald Sterling curse, the jealousy that terrorizes those who dare to love. (“I admit I was jealous and it was stupid.”)

Nothing is more horrifying than the spine-chilling breath of a ghostly, ghastly vampire woman. (“Sometimes women say ‘I love him’ and they kill him.”)

What horrifying and blood-curdling secret is he hiding? (“The league actually believes in doing everything in their power to eliminate it. You know, racism.”)

You’ll gasp with heart-stopping horror when you learn the cause of the curse. (“The media hates me. The media — it’s all the media pushing it.”)

You’ll cringe at the ghoulish thoughts controlling this poor man’s demented mind? (“Big Magic Johnson, what has he done ? He’s got AIDS. Did he do any business? I’d like, did he help anybody in South L.A.?”)

And you’ll blush at the sexual demons that feed the Tarnished Sterling Curse. (“What kind of a guy goes to every city and has sex with every girl. Then he catches HIV.”)

NBA Commissioner Adam Polished Silver rates the Tarnished Sterling attack on the Big Magic Johnson “D” for despicable, and apologies to the viewers of this story, which is rated “S” for silly, intended for immature audiences.

Viewer indiscretion is advised.

 

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