Thieves break into Garfield Memorial, steal commemorative spoons

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CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH – Someone high on the hooch may have broken into the Garfield Memorial in Cleveland Heights, OH, recently, and made off with about 20 commemorative spoons. Yeah. Spoons.

Cops found cigarette butts, a t-shirt, and a drained bottle of Fireball outside the monument, which brings us to the moral of today’s lesson: too much hooch can make you stupid.

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