TN man busted for having sex with ATM, picnic table at local bar

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MURFREESBORO, TN – It’s probably safe to say that the Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro, TN, doesn’t try to be known as the most politically correct watering hole in the country.

After all, where else can you expect to see people playing Twister and doing it doggy style?

But a local man apparently confused the bar with a sperm bank.

Cops say 49-year-old Lonnie Hutton walked into the bar one night, went up to an ATM, dropped his drawers, and tried to make a very personal deposit before withdrawing.

Cops say that after he finished his business with the ATM, he walked around the bar nude, thrusting his hips into the air.

Cops escorted Hutton outside and sat him at a picnic table, where cops say he again dropped his pants and attempted to plank the table, fill the knot hole, you get the idea.

When cops finally took Hutton to jail, they say he had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and smelled of booze.

But given the clientele of the self-described cleanest little dive bar this side of the river, Hutton’s best defense might be that the devil made him do it.