Powerball jackpot grows to $500 million

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ROSENBERG, Texas - Regardless of whether or not you believe in statistics, luck or karma, there's a fifty percent chance somebody will quit his or her job tomorrow, to never show up again.

With the Powerball jackpot estimated at half a billion dollars, whoever buys the winning ticket right before Valentine's Day is gonna get very, very lucky.

You'll never win if you don't play, the saying goes.  But let's face it: there couldn't be a worse investment on Earth than buying a lottery ticket.  While the odds of becoming President of the United States are one in 10 million, and the odds of being struck by lightning in a given year are one in 700,000; the odds of winning the jackpot are one in 175 million.  In other words, if you bought a ticket every day for the next 480,000 years, you might have a shot at getting some reimbursement.

So, good luck tonight, folks!  And if you win, don't forget your good friends at Newsfix, alright?