NEW YORK, NY - The next presidential race is just getting started, and so far it's full of the same old, boring, stale candidates. Yawn. We really need someone different, someone who will light a fire under Congress' collective arse.
Who better than...Waka Flocka Flame?!
The Atlanta rapper made his campaign announcement on his favorite holiday, 4-20 of course, and sat down for a blunt interview with Rolling Stone magazine to discuss his potform...eh, platform.
"The first thing I'm going to do when I get into office, is legalize marijuana," said the rapper, "you look around, things ain't looking good, you roll a blunt, s*** gonna be OK. School work getting too hard, don't touch the blunt. Think about it. Wait 'til you're old enough."
Dope answer! What about education?
"Education is important. We gotta start teaching these kids more reality, tr--skills, trade skills, excuse me. President been smokin' one."
Kind of a half-baked answer, man. You might want to work on that.
Speaking of work, what will Prez Flocka do in order to get Congress to work together?
"F*** the Congress. What are we thinking about? I am Congress. I'm President."
That should go over well. By now you must have the munchies, so how do you feel about the fast-food industry's fight for better pay?
"I feel like, all fast-food restaurants should be paying $15/hour, since In-and-Out Burger is doing it."
Don't forget the ladies! What are your plans to make sure women have equal rights?
"I feel like women got all their rights already. What else do they want?"
OK, final question: You've chosen DJ Whoo Kid as your running mate. What's you guys' vision for the future?
"There's gonna be unlimited weed smoking."
He's not just blowing smoke, folks!
#Waka2016. This race just got fired up!