Nebraska woman sues every homosexual

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OMAHA, NE - A Nebraska woman is taking an unprecedented step to fight the expansion of equal rights. Sylvia Ann Driskell, 66, filed a federal lawsuit with a judge in Omaha against every gay person on the planet. She claims they violated "religious and moral laws."

Driskell wrote a seven page petition to the U.S. district court by hand. In it, she calls herself "an ambassador for plaintiffs God, and his son, Jesus Christ."

According to the suit, entered into the docket as Driskell v. Homosexuals, the woman believes judge John M. Gerrard should decide once and for all whether homosexuality is or isn't a sin. She doesn't cite any case-law under which a judge could make such a ruling. Driskell does, however, quote Webster's dictionary and numerous bible verses to make her ultimate point.

She believes "that homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they be hiding in the closet?" She even demands that gay people show up to court to prove "that it's not a sin to be homosexual."

Driskell probably won't have much luck in federal court. But if she still wants a fight maybe she could sue in Texas. Our state supreme court might just take her side.