Mini nukes and missing lobsters top news out of North Korea

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PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – Today’s Korean “launch” specials include mini nukes with a side order of missing lobsters, prepared under the careful supervision of chef Li’l Kim Jong Un.

North Korea’s diminutive despot seems to have some size issues. And in this case, it’s good to be small. Or at least he thinks so.

Li’l Kim says his Beastly Boyz have come up with a way to miniaturize nuclear weapons. They have to be smaller so they will to fit on nuclear missiles.

The Obama Administration isn’t buying Li’l Kim’s bombastic claims, just like it didn’t fall for a claim earlier this month that North Korea successfully tested a submarine-based ballistic missile.

The photos released by North Korea’s official news agency turned out to be fake, or as some analysts put it: strongly modified.

Here’s some advice: don’t ever let anything come between Li’l Kim and his lobster.

Not if you like to live, that is.

Li’l Kim is reported to be unhappy with North Korea’s lobster production, or lack of it.

This all came to light during a surprise visit to a facility that raises lobsters.

Li’l Kim said the lobster producer wasn’t going to meet the country’s needs for fresh-water lobsters by the time the 70th anniversary of North Korea’s ruling party rolls around in October.

Given that Li’l Kim likes to kill off people who displease him, the lobster farmers better get busy or else they may find they are the ones in hot water.

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