Cruz-Metal Singer Comparison Creates Internet Sensation

Nation/World
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Houston, TX - Has Senator Ted Cruz been moonlighting as a heavy metal singer?

Some metal fans have uncovered an uncanny resemblance between Cruz and metal singer Michael Sweet.

"I really am Ted Cruz, and I have very big hands," Sweet declared.

The internet has been buzzing about the Cruz connection.

Could this really be Ted?

Or his evil twin?

"I don't really see the resemblance," Sweet insisted.

Conspiracy theories are already afloat. But they may not hold much water...

Sweet is actually the lead singer for Christian metal band Stryper, and he was only 22 in the now infamous picture storming the net.

But due to popular demand, he tweeted, "I guess my doppelganger is Ted Cruz? Guess I better cancel the Stryper tour so I can focus on my campaign."

That left some folks a little confused, until they heard Ted try to sing a few notes. "I just called to say I love you," Cruz crooned terribly off-key to showcase his lack of vocal talent.

So maybe Cruz shouldn't quit his day job.

Of course there have been other rumors about the Senator from Texas, that he's actually the Zodiac Killer... or really "Grandpa" from The Munsters, and he's even been called "Mr. Haney" from the Sixties TV show Green Acres.

Wow, who knew?

Cruz gets around more than a metal band!

Or does he?

America, you decide!"

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