This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

LOS ANGELES, CA – We’re not gonna make a big deal out of some whack-a-do’s outrageous conspiracy theory that Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey, all grown up.

A man named Dave Johnson claims the little pageant queen wasn’t mysteriously murdered in 1996, but was secretly taken out of the public eye so so she could morph into pop princess Katy Perry. Johnson even compares Perry’s parents to the Ramseys, even though Patsy Ramsey died in 2006 of ovarian cancer.

Another crazy conspiracy theorist named “Jungle Surfer” claims the dead giveaway is her eyebrows, because “eyebrows don’t change much on a person.” Riiight.

Honestly, where do people come up with this crap?